Thoughts of a Depressive Diplomatist: Fun

Showing posts with label Fun. Show all posts

Wednesday, 1 January 2014

For Tamsin - Happy New Year Everyone!

She was young, she was pure, she was new, she was nice
She was fair, she was sweet seventeen.
He was old, he was vile, and no stranger to vice
He was base, he was bad, he was mean.
He had slyly inveigled her up to his flat
To view his collection of stamps,
And he said as he hastened to put out the cat,
The wine, his cigar and the lamps:

     Have some madeira, m'dear. You really have nothing to fear.
     I'm not trying to tempt you, that wouldn't be right,
     You shouldn't drink spirits at this time of night.
     Have some madeira, m'dear. It's really much nicer than beer.
     I don't care for sherry, one cannot drink stout,
     And port is a wine I can well do without...
     It's simply a case of chacun a son gout
     Have some madeira, m'dear.

Unaware of the wiles of the snake-in-the-grass
And the fate of the maiden who topes,
She lowered her standards by raising her glass,
Her courage, her eyes and his hopes.
She sipped it, she drank it, she drained it, she did!
He promptly refilled it again,
And he said as he secretly carved one more notch
On the butt of his gold-headed cane:

     Have some madeira, m'dear,
     I've got a small cask of it here.
     And once it's been opened, you know it won't keep.
     Do finish it up. It will help you to sleep.
     Have some madeira, m'dear.
     It's really an excellent year.
     Now if it were gin, you'd be wrong to say yes
     The evil gin does would be hard to assess..
     Besides it's inclined to affect me prowess,
     Have some madeira, m'dear.

Then there flashed through her mind what her mother had said
With her antepenultimate breath,
"Oh my child, should you look on the wine that is red
Be prepared for a fate worse than death!"
She let go her glass with a shrill little cry,
Crash! Tinkle! it fell to the floor;
When he asked, "What in Heaven?" She made no reply,
Up her mind, and a dash for the door.

     Have some madeira, m'dear.
     Rang out down the hall loud and clear
     With a tremulous cry that was filled with despair,
     As she fought to take breath in the cool midnight air,
     Have some madeira, m'dear.
     The words seemed to ring in her ear.
     Until the next morning, she woke in her bed
     With a smile on her lips and an ache in her head...
     And a beard in her lug 'ole that tickled and said:
     Have some madeira, m'dear!

Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Happy Birthday Tom!

Today is Tom Lehrer's 85th birthday. Here are a couple of my favourites -

Friday, 22 February 2013

Literary Prizes

Just a note about two very different literary prizes.

The shortlist for the Nebula Awards 2012 has been announced. The Nebulas are one of the oldest and best-respected awards in the Science Fiction world, and the roll-call of past winners is that of the greatest in the genre.

My old friend Joan Druett lists the contenders on her blog World of the the Written Word and very helpfully linked to those that can be read on-line. The short stories I had a look at last night seem very good (as you'd expect).

The other shortlist is a bit of fun. It's the Bookseller/Diagram Prize for Oddest Title of the Year.

That shortlist is

Was Hitler Ill? by Henrik Eberle and Hans-Joachim Neumann
Lofts of North America: Pigeon Lofts by Jerry Gagne
How to Sharpen Pencils by David Rees
God’s Doodle: The Life and Times of the Penis by Tom Hickman
Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop by Reginald Bakeley
How Tea Cosies Changed the World by Loani Prior

My favorites are Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop and How to Sharpen Pencils. What are yours? The winner is chosen by public vote, so go ahead and have your say.

Tuesday, 5 February 2013

Atompunk Magazine Covers!

Thanks to Victoria's Boys in Red, I've come across the Pulp-O-Mizer - a very cool tool for making your own pulp magazine covers.

I've had a little play...